Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Kuantan:Innocent love story!

Photo: Focal's bad boys
From L-R: Joe, Jais, Fat Guy, Bernard & Lawrence
12th September 2006

The time now is 10.35 pm and I am in my room listening to David Gray’s “A new day at midnight”, with the Egyptian musk Tulasi flavor incense burning-producing the exotic smell roaming the air I breath…and I am writing yet again another chapter of my life. Nothing interesting happens really, just the same old same old story. I am still here. Unless I go live in Africa or road tripping through the South America continent or listening to Buena Vista Social Club in downtown Havana, I consider nothing really happening.

Last weekend I was away to the East Coast of Malaysia. Kuantan, the capital of one of the east coast state, Pahang, suppose to be the biggest state in terms of land in Malaysia (mostly rainforest jungle) is where the event is happening.

I must admit it’s my first time landing my feet on the soil of Pahang or Kuantan. I must admit I enjoyed the road trip or the journey from KL to Kuantan so much more than I enjoyed Kuantan. The scenery and serendipity view of the rainforest greens and hazy view on the mountain side along the highway makes my journey even more bluesy. Joe & I were in one car and Jais, Bernard & Lawrence was in another. We were the only guys that representing our company to this event; Exxon Mobil Road safety competition. It’s a annual event where oil tanker drivers (of various sizes) compete their ability to control the monstrous vehicle and they were being tested on parallel parking, turning point, reversing, road challenges etc. The winner would get to represent Exxon Mobil Malaysia to compete with drivers of Exxon Mobil from all around the world, which to be held early next year in Japan. My company, together with other tank design and fabricators and components suppliers were invited to showcase our pride and joy. Big shots of Exxon Mobil, haulers, fabricators from China, Singapore, USA, Thailand, Australia, Hong Kong and Philippine etc were there to check and inspect these toys (the monstrous trucks).

It was a hot and shiny affair. The weather was hot; it burns like hell freezes over. And to make it even worse, the site of the competition was located very near to the East coast beach. Yeah, you can guess how the wind spread the humidity all around us.

Anyway, Kuantan! While the name of the town may sound dull and pretty dead (Yes, you got it all right), it did refresh some early memories of mine. I did associate myself with Kuantan at least for a while and it once really mean a lot to me.

And of course it is about a girl. Now, this was my first crush! The first ever and ironic is I didn’t even know what “crush” means at that time. I was only ten years old. Yeah man, believe it or not I actually had a crush on this teacher when I was in standard 4.

The year was somewhere in 1990s and came along the batch of young bunch of teachers (to be) from Maktab Penguruan (Institute of teaching) something something…

I think if I remember correctly, her name is Ms. Fong and of course she’s from Kuantan. I was 10 and she was either 19 or early 20s. She got short and straight dark color hair (shoulder length) and she would wear normal teacher type of dress or sometime during activities in the weekend she would wear semi carrot light blue jeans and school shirt where the end of shirt would be knotted with the Maktab cap on it. As much as I can remember, she got a sweet face and pretty fair. Of course I was not the only boy who had a crush on her.

Looking back, my God, I was only ten and surprise that I actually did lot of effort to get her attention and of course I did. We did spent lot of time under the tree, near the football field having conversation about family and of course, obviously- about homework. (hell like I was interested) Ha ha..

To me I had that feel good factor, talking to my favorite teacher and of course to her, must had been merely talking to a kid whom puberty is still a long way to come. Foolish I know but it did happen. I actually enjoyed her class and her being around. She would write wishing cards and brought present for me (with hope to encourage me being a better pupil I suppose). And six month period passes like a wind.

My crush was much more different and than I thought. I actually felt sad when I learned that her training period about to end and was about time to go back to…Kuantan!

She signed on my year book and the last I remember I was so down sad that she is leaving. She did give me her lovely photo for remembrance (but was stolen by a Malay guy name Fahmy). I was even sadder then, because not only she is going back, but the only tool of remembrance I can cherish was being stolen as well.

The story didn’t end here. I told my dad I need some money to buy a farewell gift for Ms. Fong and I really wanted to give it to her before she took on that bloody bus back to Kuantan. With my knowledge limitation on geography, Kuantan then seems like a light year away from Penang. So my dad actually took me on the lousy Suzuki 120CC bike (the one that will definitely awaken the neighborhood if he coming back at night) to nearby Lai Lai supermarket to buy some gift. With few bucks donations I got from my dad, I brought a talcum powder (if I remember correctly) as a farewell gift.

The day was Saturday and she was schedule to leave on that very day. And I was very determined to see her for one last time as well as to give her the talcum powder. But when I reached there, it felt like a world is coming down on me when I found out that the bus left. I think I cry or did shed a tear. My first crush crash! I blamed on my dad’s lousy motorbike- for not fast enough. I was so sad when I reached home.

And it was really tough to be that young boy being disappointed that way. And at that time I really hate adults. My mum shows some sympathy but at the same time she was also laughing at the facts that I had a crush on this teacher. And of course the merciless adults were making fun of me. But in the end I think my Mum did say something encouraging or at least hopeful, you know the wishful thinking kind of story to make me convince that I will see her again.

About a month after she left, she sent me a letter- the type of letter that praising me that I was a good boy kind of crap and that I should be concentrating on my homework (and not other silly thing). She said in the letter she liked me like a brother she never had and stuff. I wish I could write the whole letter out but nah, where the hell is the letter I don’t know. The point is she realizes that I had a crush on her and mine was somewhat further compare to the other boys.

It’s amazing that boy at the age of ten can had a crush, on the teacher. Maybe the boy was confused between filial love for Mum, dad & siblings and agape love for friends. Obviously Eros love is definitely not scripted in the boy’s dictionary yet.

Looking back at this growing up story makes me feel somewhat happy. After all, growing up to me is the best time of my life and phases of life I will never stop cherish. The time spent in the wood, river, smoking with friend on top of his roof or with my brother (stolen from dad’s pack- it was Lucky Strike mind you) and the entire silly yet crazy things boys do when growing up. I will do this in another time another day.

With that I say peace!


Thursday, September 07, 2006

Gym Hype (Part 1& 2)

6th September 2006

Ever since I lost my six packs or abs or lean body shape (in other word, my slim body la…) nine years ago, I stop having strict discipline for myself in working out or going to gym. Every once in a while I will have occasional determination to really work out and get back in shape, from form 6 to year 1 in university to year 2 to year 3 to India until presently but the determination never really stay more than 3 month. So the accumulated muscles during that particular time would vanish into even more fat I guess.

Occasional determination would prompt me to do things like gym-style work out, jogging, weight lifting, football, badminton (traveling and trekking notwithstanding) but all this just “hangat-hangat taik ayam”. Literally translated to English, it means hot-hot chicken shit. It actually means doing things in the heat of moment (I hope my interpretation is correct).

When I got back from India, every one told me (the things that kind of expected but hurts) that I was getting fatter! So again, the determination started again. I did go for gym style work out for about 2 months then the rest was history. That was exactly 7 months ago. Now I am piggy again. Omar my buddy used to inspire me with saying like “take care of your health when you are young so the health can take care of you when you are old”. Of course everybody knows that inspiration didn’t work as it was suppose to be. Oh how I wish I can turn back time to those football training where the coach will demand of at least 20 round football field before you can touch the ball.

My friends had been trying to drag me to gym for quite some time now, ever since I stop going to Pantai gym for working out and as my fat getting more and more obvious. I know I won’t succumb to their invitation for sure because I know too well my occasional urge of determination. I know it for nine donkey years already. While I reckon the whole gym thingy is good for body mind and soul craps thing, I also thought that this whole gym thingy had become something of a popular culture, commercialize by the industrialist into the whole industry of cool thingy, like rock n’ roll in the 70s. It is the place of young and trendy people hanging out like Starbuck once was and still is. I am not whining or saying it is something wrong. It is what it is. And it was cool.

So anyway, I succumb to the invitation. I told myself to give it a try. What the hell do I have to lose? I mean after months of persuading myself to go back to Pantai gym and of course persuasion was in vain, what do I really have to lose? My friend brought me this trial membership (for one month) to Fitness first and I went. And hell yeah, I am proven right; gym is still being the industry of cool for the young and hip. I know I sound like a old God with rusty philosophical thought that no one want to hear but what the hell, what do I got to lose?

I was quite surprise at the junk of things and classes and trainers they have in there. I mean yeah, I kind of expecting normal set up but it was more than that. Plus, the chicks were something to cheer about as well. The steam room and sauna, the equipments, the trainers, the free drink, the music and basically the whole atmosphere just enthralled me. With all that jazz, I was lost. I didn’t know where to start (I usually know the chain of working out from top of my head to tip of my toe). So like a moronic monkey just fresh out of jungle, I jumble up the junk, no proper procedure, I did from treadmill on one minute to weight lifting in another minute and then sit up, then chest, then drink, drink and drink and then chest, then sit up, then stretching, drink, leg, drink and yeah la, all that crap la.

And fuck; now my whole body is a junk, a big mess and I am aching. Anyway, I am thinking of working out again and this time, I cross my finger that the determination stays for real, this time!

Part 2

Why people can be so cruel? Is desperation a drive for people acting out of their mind, doing things that will hurt another being? Man…where is the love? The world is going down like a toilet flush. We are living is a mad mad world.

No! I am not talking about the United States and the war monger president or Middle East madness; I am talking about smaller spot of human sickness that is haunting our society. Now people will do anything at any cost without second thought of terrible consequences just to live another day to feed their desire or hunger for whatever drugs they were on. Do these people actually think that the world is only evolving around them? That their life is screwed and no one else is?

Anyway, after my gym class the other day, I walked to my car, which parked opposite the building. I was just having this crazy thought that someone riding on the motorbike would speed towards me and whack me to semi conscious death just to squeeze few bucks out of my pocket hole. I mean when in dark scene like that and no one else around, the mind wanders and you cannot really blame the mind since sick things like that is so fucking rampant these day. Women would get robbed and if unlucky enough, got hurt, raped and killed. Guys will get consolation prize of knife stabbing, or helmet whacking before being robbed.

So anyway, I drove off and it didn’t happen to me. Less than 2 minutes I received a call from my friend (the one that invited me to the gym), asking me to go back to the parking lot- someone just got robbed and got injured in the process. I was like what the fuck???

Sympathy for this Malay girl. She was complete shock and she was hurt and bleeding on her palm. She was crying and trembling. The motorbike guys apparently snatched her handbag and she was very strong not to let go her valuable. In her defense and struggle, she felled three time hence the bleeding. Nothing much my friend and I could do but to calm down the tense. It was only her and both of us. We did calm her down, assuring her that we will be with her until police come. We did stay for sometime, my friend did most of the talking while me, did most of the calling. In the end, the police arrived so was her family member. She was still trembling and crying but much better. We manage to trace her car keys nearby.

Shit like that happen everywhere, we all know but lately, Malaysia, especially KL and PJ is just a haven for it. It is like the “in thing” for the desperate and the low life scumbags, punk junkie to do whenever they need the easy way out. I am not biasing. Desperate people include hard life and low income groups and even worse, family man. But whatever it is, they don’t have the right to hurt people that way. Yeah I know I am barking up the wall. While something need to be done, we all need to take special precautious. Guys, base ball bat in the boot don’t always work, so might wanna’ consider pepper spray. And girls, pepper spray don’t always work either, might wanna’ consider base ball bat and some martial arts lesson like Karate or Alkido.

Anyway please take care of yourself whenever you are. Shit happens everywhere and to anyone. It could be you or me or our loved one. Just take extra care. I love you all.

If you came across shit like that, here I include useful number:

PJ Area: 03 7956 2222

KL Area: 03 21460522

Last week and this week had been quite exhausting one. I was in Genting, watching Lobo in concert (part of the “get-together” our company organized for the haulers and Oil companies- so consider partly working partly enjoying la…). I met up with my Mum which I haven’t been seeing for almost 5 months now for a brief breakfast. It was really good to see her. She is still wonderful and such a lively and youthful and fantastic women despite her age of 57. Man, she rocks! Heaven and hell Haha…

This weekend, I will be away again to the East Coast for a regional truck show (in line with my job) and might be going back to the pearl of the orient to be with my family for a week or so. Until then, I am so rock n’ roll with my job and it’s really stealing my time away, at least for now.

Please keep in touch my friends. Again, I love you all…

Carpe Diem!!

Love & Regards,


Thursday, August 17, 2006

Losing a friend

[Originally posted in rockstardream blog]

Sometime life is not all about being happy, sometime it is about being sad as well. That makes life the perfect picture. Am I right? I don’t know really. As much as we want to be positive about it, that we want to view life is a much interesting and comical way, we are too will be subjected to the story on the other side, on being traumatize, being shock, depressed and complete disbelief over something beyond our control.

Well, I am sorry today I am writing something that is the truest in life that nobody, if given a choice wants to record it. This is about losing a friend, unexpectedly.
What does it feel like to have a moment talking to a life, drinking, singing and shooting pool with a life and the next moment that life is gone, taken away forever?
What does it feel like to be the last person on earth too sees a life being a life whiles other, the closest and the loved ones to that life being blind about it?
What does it feel like to be the one who sees this life jumping and kicking and screaming the night away and the next thing, lying static, lifeless, a stinking corpse, staring up at you?

And what does it feel to be the one surrounded by the amplifying of the sad tones of mourning and grieving of the loved ones especially the mother?
You just hope that you have the power to undo certain thing so every one that lives can be happy about it. But reality bites- that’s not how life is.
I can ask more and more ironical and universally complicated question about life here and thinking on how should one feel about it but that is not my intention here. My intention is pure and simple, and it base on real experience here.

OK, I tell you what does it feel to be all that I mentioned above because I actually one of the one in the above.

I felt No-thing!

That’s the ironical thing about it. I felt nothing. When I look at the lifeless body, I thought I should have join the band of mourning people, breakdown and cry, being depress and complete wreck or at least shed some tears like all human do, after all he’s a friend and a colleague too, but hell, it just didn’t happen that way and I just didn’t know what to react or to respond.

Then I was thinking maybe we weren’t that close to begin with but still how can I as a human not shedding even a drop of tear? Where are my tears? All my mind was reacting then was just submitting to that event of life, reckoning that this life had gone away, back to the one-ness of life and that hey man, life goes on kind of crap. But it is hard to remain the only soul who didn’t shed a tear and express nothing and acting cool, displaying the “life’s like that” facial expression while the whole world surrounding you breaking down and cry their heart out, howling and breaking the silent and icy night.

I was trying to reason out why I didn’t feel a thing that night? Maybe I was already traumatized by the whole event itself. I mean how often we actually see a life jumping in one moment and the next moment he’s as dead as zebra’s meat. Honestly to God, it’s my first time and having maiden experience to such uninvited occasion- I guess I was just subconsciously being traumatized over it that my whole didn’t know how to respond and to react to it. My whole was a complete blank, constantly lighted by the lit of cigarette.

I thought maybe I will at least cry a little when things are more in place like I am starting to come to terms at all that jazz but hell the time in ER in SJMC to mortuary and post mortem in Serdang hospital, I just felt the same. I was the pillar of strength and comforter to mourners. I guess that’s the least I can do to the loved one, which is just being around and tell the truth and good thing about the deceased to the loved ones.

OK here comes the story of life and death. This is not exactly a Hollywoodmovie but real life. We had clients from Thailandvisiting us for business purpose. And we brought them for a pleasant dinner and later round of drinking and pool shooting. We had a few drink and that’s it. The last I remembered about the deceased one was he was very sober till the very last moment when we walked out that door.

Now that he’s dead, everything he said and did seem to solve the jigsaw puzzle of his death. He kept saying things like “I think it’s enough, I should go away” or “Maybe I should just lay back and raise kids and stuff”. He was enjoying every minutes of his apparent last few moment in life for him. He was singing out of tunes and he enjoys it, he was shooting pool and dances the beat away and that place we visited was actually his strong preference.

It seems like he sees it coming and he really want to do it the last time, drinking away, shooting pool and all in his most favorite pub for one last time before the last goodbye. Even the time of saying goodbye, when we were all entering our own car, I can see the light and smile in his face, the kind that indicate complete satisfaction on life and “it’s about time to go” expression. He even makes sure we all know the way to get out of that place, directing very patiently my other friend the precise way back to the main road before he took on the sharp death cornering, skidded and kissing the body of trees, so hard I think he died on the spot- of severe internal concussion.

Of course at that time it meant nothing and it didn’t make sense. But they say people who about to die see sense the coming of it and hence all the signs they unconsciously did or said. They somehow knew they couldn’t cheat death. Maybe they did see those Nicholas Cage type of angels or Jack the ripper visiting them, inviting them to go home. I don’t know. Maybe.
Being one of the last to see him, and the only sober soul around the wreck souls in the hospital, the best consolation thing I can do is to be around and be pillar of strength and comforter whenever I am needed. And I stayed to the last moment until paying last respect in his funeral the evening after.

He is young and he died at the age of 26, almost the same age with Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Brian Jones or Janis Joplin. I guess he had live his life to the fullest, all those fun time in college in Melbourne and around Australia, swimming with sharks and open water, bungee jumping, smoking out, whatever and true, the light of his face at the time of last goodbye, to my understanding now, really indicate he was ready to go that he had no regret over whatsoever. Maybe that was the reason I didn’t shed a tear for him. I don’t know. Well he lives and dies young and for those who know him, far, close and well, we will forever remember and cherish him in sweet remembrance of his young face; smart, witty and playful. He will never grow old in us, just like Jim, Kurt or Janis.

Well, few days had passed now and I still haven’t really shed a tear for him. I reckoned his death and somehow someway, I know he went with all his heart’s approval, leaving his body, back to the one-ness of life.

And of course I don’t feel bad for how I responded and reacted to the whole thing. And I shouldn’t. We all have our own way in grieving and mourning and I did just exactly that. Carry on life the way maybe he wanted some of us to be- living the joy of life for him. Maybe he wanted me to celebrate his departure that way and I got him. Ha ha, I don’t really know. I guess I am just crapping and that’s what they call it blues. Well, it was a scary beginning I reckon but I bet the ending is somewhat happy (I hope) even though it was about death.
Before I sign off- I would like to dedicate one song for him- by Elton John entitle “Funeral for a friend/love lies bleeding” taken from the 1974 album:

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, arguably one of my most favorite record.
Live on my friend whenever you are, and don’t stop looking down on us.
Goodbye forever until I join you there.

13th August 2006.
P/s: Thanks Ernie for being part of my life.

P/s 2: I did have a fulfilling weekend though, because I really did carrying on living the usual way. Went to Planet Hollywood with Fara and some of her friends (even though she was unwell but I enjoyed my night, so no need to sorry sorry la, ok babe?), spent Sunday with my brother in Mont Kiara, and his interesting Sabahan friend, Mells and her Japanese friend- which all were interesting people, met Hannah (a make up artiste) which I sometime seen her around but finally get to know him/her (she’s a beautiful lady boy), introduced by Suja and much more which I am looking forward to for another just week. But I will write all this jazz in next post up! Ciao!

I love ya’allJ

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Monday, July 24, 2006

India 2nd time

2nd July 2006

I never thought of coming back to this crazy comical wonderful nation of India when I left on the jet plane on October 2005.

To make a come back for a second place is almost impossible, not because I hate the country mind you, I do love the country and traveling and discovering the country here in facts was the best time I had in my life.

As much as I love the country, but if given time and money, I would rather travel to new places as I wish to make to world my playground. I would love to go to Egypt, Turkey, Dubai, Cuba, and Europe & South America. There are so many places to go and to go back to same place is tantamount to mission impossible, unless I have wife and kids there waiting to be feed and loved, then that would be entirely different story- which apparently not the case here.

Of course I always entertain the thought that it would be so lovely to go back to the place where you once fond for and in love with but seriously never have a power to transform into reality.

Well, chance and fate took me there once and now it took me there again for a second time. And all this took place in less than 9 month after coming back from this crazy nation. The feeling of being in India for second time is indescribable especially when in your mind you know it too well that you wont be able to be back here, at least not that soon.

If last year I was backpacking in India the way of genuine backpacker, with budget guest house, cheap train and buses traveling, meeting and befriended all sort of funny crazy people, this time was exactly the opposite- plane traveling, 4 star hotels, fancy dinner, cabs and meeting serious and dorky people (people in the business sectors).

I must say that this trip was because of my present job but hold no boredom my army, coz I would not bother you a single thing about my job here. Even though I was in suit and tie with in flight traveling and fancy hotels, my soul and heart were the same of the yesteryear when I did my route of western India to Upper northern India.

Honestly prior to landing in Mumbai, I was already looking to breath the air that I was breathing for a year, to be amused by the Indians in the street and to see the rickshaw crooks to try to fool and cheat my money in their illogical way. While all this had been already anticipated, I was also can’t wait to be reunited with some of my friends in my second home in Pune. A friend once say to me that it is always a wonderful experience to go back to the place you fond with, and that is of course to feel spiritually and emotionally the things that we had experience through the time, sweet or sour, it doesn’t matter.

Anyway, before I can share my testimony in India for a second time, I must share with you my first up close and personal experience with Bollywood God-status superstar.

I departed my beloved country to my second home on the 3rd of June and coincidently that was the day he is flying back home.

I was in economy class and for whatever reason I was upgraded to business class. So I was seating on the first row and beside me was unoccupied. While I was fancying the “class” of flying in business class (the services and the gadget installed onto the seat), he walked in and time stood still. Really, it felt that way where people around you just pause for a while and all eyes were on him. And that includes all of the crew members.

His baldy body guard was holding his luggage. My heart beat faster than usual for I can’t grasp the realism of the occasion. I was not his big fan or what and like every ordinary people, I don’t give a shit even if he come and shook my hand but somewhat things are different when someone bigger than life stood in front of you and was about to take the seat beside you. I guess that why my heart were beating unusually.

He is the second God in India after the Big B (Amitabth Bachan). He is none other than the SRK, one of the great Khans. Full name is Shah Rukh Khan.

I am stopping with Alison Klauss’s “When you say nothing at all” playing in the air. I will continue to write when I am free again.

And I am free again (it is now 23rd July). I just got back from Bangkok. But Bangkok piece, I will write once I am done with this. OK, we were in Mumbai for the first 10 days of our trip. We were staying in the backpackers/travelers/foreigners haven. One of the most famous place in Mumbai- the most highlighted place in Gregory Robert’s Shantaram. It is COLABA.

The night of Mumbai the city never sleeps is happening. Everything there seems familiar and it seems like I was there yesterday- the cricket field, the clock tower, Marine Drive (Chowphatty Beach), Indian Gate etc.

On one of the night we were having dinner at Leopold- again, one of the most highlighted hangout place in Shantaram. Somehow all the lives in Shantaram relived in my head once and again, through my imaginative power of sort.

Second city is where I used to belong. It is the Oxford of the East, where lot of young people from all over India, Middle East, Africa, Asia come here for study and eventually work, where Israelis, Germans, Dutch, Italians, Greeks and others in search of better truth of existentiality here for Meditation, where most of the top engineering and IT companies from India and elsewhere is mushrooming here. This place I present to you- is PUNE- where I once live for a year or to be exact, my ex-base.

I just wanna make it short here. Martin, Magda, Sharfi and Trude- thanks for the times together, it’s great to meet again. I enjoyed all the time spent in Mad Grill House & Shisha Café. Smoking Shisha had never been any different-with you guys around.

Pinky, lovely and beautiful Hindi girl- It’s great to see you again. I know it was never expected. I enjoyed the dinner at Shisha Café with you.

The rest of the cities we were in were Nagpur, Chennai, Bangalore, Pondicherry & Delhi. With exception to Delhi, the rest of the cities mentioned above I never been there.

Pondicherry came a surprise to me. It was a one of the state, 4 hours drive away from Chennai. It is a former French colonial. There, still lives some French and they all holds double citizenship. Because of the French influence historically, some older generations Indians actually specks French. And that make French the second language in that city. It is just funny to see Indians speaking French.

I think I wanna stop writing. I just couldn’t do this anymore. I tried my best to write enthusiastically but enthusiasm and inspiration just not here anymore.

I still want to go back to India for my unfinished trip. Places like Kerala in down south, and Leh, Srinagar, Kashmir, Darjeeling in Himachal Pradesh in upper North and maybe Goa (again?). Until I do that, as in pure traveling, only my backpack & my khaki, I will write like how I did on the 12 series of traveling confession in India 2005.

Have a good life and live life interestingly. Goodbye!


Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Old Photos Revisited: Meatloaf & Babes (Part 2)

Tribute to some of my greatest moments (not that there was much greatest moment to be cherish anyway...)- Dull life huh??
Photo: Me with my favorite "babe" Nasha Aziz and Faisal- The time working as Mickey's crew @ Disney on Ice tour- 2003

Photo: This is with another babe by the name of Claire in 2002, during one of the ball night. This babe I came to know in theatre production day where she was a main cast and me, was just a one few liner extra plus behind the curtain guy...Am I slapping myself uploading too many "beauty & the beast type of photos"?? Haha!! I just love me...

Photo: This year is I guess the proudest moment for my parent BUT not for me as it was tentamount to me walking away from freedom (people who knew me know how I live my varsity life). Yes the year is 2003 and it was a graduation day. And the babe beside me is the 6th member of pussycat dolls- as in literally "pussycat" doll:) Haha...OK, she is also one of my favourite babe, nevermind the pussycat story...

Photo: Last but not least, this photo is taken in La Bodega ( currently my favourite wednesday's evening place where the best jazz band is playing) in 2001. I think this outing was with two friend of my whom is now slave to P&G- OTC & YikHun

Monday, May 22, 2006

Old Photos Revisited: The Peter then...

22 May 2006
Song: Spirit of Radio- Rush

Well, friends, last weekend, I was just browsing through my old photos and I was thinking maybe I could scan them and upload it on my blog, and without much thinking, here some of my old photos- as you can see, the Peter with hair era:) & some, which belong to Peter just without the hair era and of coz, the botak era... To those who know me 1999 onwards- as the botak guy, baldie, "Costello" etc but those who know me prior to 1998- the bad hair day, the grunge jamming, hard rocking era, here's some photos- thanks for the good and bad time together. Have fun yo!!
Photo: 1997, working at Evergreen Hotel, Italian month buffet. (From L-R): Siva, me, Sufian, Jalil, Rez & Wan

Photo: Posing near the main dishes area

Photo: 1998, @ Penang dam, with Kok Wei- good ol' buddy.
Photo: The "Eat, sleep & shit Guns & Roses era"

Still got more photos. Later...(part 2)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Saturday, May 13, 2006

A tribute to bugger

Photo: Jerry Felix (Drummer, hidden) & The Falcons

Photo: Salvador & Me @ Pelita, Bangsar.

Photo: Ramli Sarip & Lefthanded rock the stage!!

Photo: Ramli Sarip, Me, Man Kidal & Yan

Opening Song:- Goodbye to romance- Ozzy Osborne

11.10 am, 12th Friday May 2006.

And so the story of life continues. Oh wait, let me do that again, and so, the story of this seemingly routine life continues, through the rush hour of everyday, chaotic of big city life, mad crowd of people, same old same old faces, surrounding you with nothing but the same old stuff of world updates. And I wonder where will my life go from here? When will my life take off again? I don’t know man…, while there’s nothing wrong with my life now, but somehow I feel my itchy feet and my cat level of curiosity is calling in within me to go explore, go somewhere out of ordinary. Perhaps it’s just me or the cat in me that playing the role of devil’s advocate to poison once again my school of thought that life is not about evolving in the same old geographical places your eyes see and your skin touches but like I told my recently gone off (to Germany) friend that “it’s whole new world out there” and that it seems so close and yet so far because we just couldn’t move because we are tight here on ground by worldly commitment. And yeah, that’s the whole irony of the whole thing. And it makes you just don’t wanna care anymore sometime.

Time travel faster than light yes you may say it’s only a saying- but it’s true. Sometime we do the things we do everyday that we don’t know that actually we had miss out quite lot of thing that if you take sometime off your heavy duty schedule to think and ponder, the thing that we miss out intentionally or unintentionally, is the thing that mean a lot to us.

As for me, my writing might seems melancholy or some will go to extra miles to pity me as depressive. Whatever it is I don’t care and couldn’t be bothered. I used to say and still subscribe to this school of though that life is short and yes my friend; it’s our duty to live life to the fullest. Every losing minute will forever behind us and will never get it back. So friend, sometime despite our busy life, all we need to do is to stop and ponder a while and then get back on that train track of life.

Balance is all we need. So every once in a while, we must do things that satisfy us, satisfy our soul, mind and body.

Bonnie, I thought he will never go and there might be a slight possibility that he might chicken out the whole thing of living in Germany- living faraway for the first time, out of time, out of shelve and out of every familiarity. I know he want this very much and he had gone through fire and ice to make damn sure that this must transpired. That’s why I really want him to fuck off from here, for the betterment of his life- life that I hope one day he will never regret, despite the things that he must let go to move on. Man, shit like that is never easy and will never be and bittersweet irony is, like it or not- life goes on and we must choose one path or the other and there is no turning back. Courage and strong determination is all that it takes to walk-away from the thing we don’t to but must to, and come what may- like time and light, life still, goes on. I am not harboring any thought, I just couldn’t agree more that we must realize the dream we hold dearly, whatever that it is even though we have to cycling through the rocky mountain way. At the end of day, it’s just a decision life gotto take and there’s no wrong or right here- It’s just FREE WILL.

And the longer he actually stays to bother me about playing futsal, even though is the call that I am looking forward and anticipate it- the more I think he will have a second thought. And finally this Yes-Land is all but minus one bugger.

To tell you the truth, I was a bit envy that he is living the life I once lived and the whole airport scene, which at the first seems like a fake party and towards the end really seems like funeral for a friend-love lies bleeding kind of thing actually flashing back that exact moment I had when I took off to India. It was exactly the same. Melancholy, the strange-awkward- don’t know what to do what to say kind of attitudes, whether for the sending off people or for the going off bugger- it’s just fucking same. And how could I not felt it- the blues, the joy of the whole exploration I was about to have is the just few hours away and abracadabra, we are looking through a window, laying eyes on everything that is new, amazing…
But that was just one bit, overall, I am happy this bugger went off finally and behold the world, this bugger is gonna take the yes-land to another level like I once did. So long bugger, have fun of your life and whenever you lost in life or in the city or in the pub or party, just take out the magic card I gave you and remember Christopher Columbus once said- “It’s a whole new world out there” and I always wanna add “Go swim and explore” Salute bugger.

Salvador, a Spanish friend I met in India visited me on his Asia backpacking trip. It was good to have someone from the phase of life you cherished most coming back to you. It’s like you get to hold the piece of shattered sweetest dream you once had. I wish I have all the time and luxury to bring him around but as much as my schedule is holding me down, I tried to do best.

We went to Batu Caves. And hello, I know it’s embarrassing, but Batu caves that day was my first time. Seen it in TV, paper, magazines and even some miles away but to be there, no. never. I thought it was only the staircase that is matter but to prove some of you who might share the same view, it is not. So I did and go extra miles to explore the damn stone caves, rather than merely climbing up the staircase like a monkey do there everyday.

Suja Yussof, the cave warden (a friend I came to know from John Burger’s store, also Amir Yussof’s elder brother) Salvador and myself went on to cave the dark caves of Batu Caves. It was a great exploration and caving experience. It was not only a touristy caving where everything is lightens up for you to see and stone and metal is well constructed for you to walk safe so you could protect dust and bones of red muddy cave from gathering on your docker khaki and yuppie t shirt.

We went all out and as Suja would like to put it, we went against Darwin’s theory of evolution. In a sequence, we walk like a Neanderthal man and then bend like a gorilla, craw like a lizard and last- move like a snake on the ground completely- dragging our body through the tiny hole of caves. It was experimental and something different from Gua Tempurung.

Also one of the event I want to highlight in this page is the week before, I met up with Malaysian’s dinosaur of Rock figure, Malaysian’s greatest guitarist (some might wanna dispute this with Hillary), and one of the Malaysian greatest rock band. We were watching Jerry Felix & the Falcons jamming like every Thursday and out of no where the familiar faces walk in the pub, humbly, in their skin leather pant and flowery shirt, long glammy hair. They were all humble people despite that God status as much as Asian/Malaysian Rock music is concerned. The Papa or dinosaur rock I was talking about is Mr. Ramli Sarip, the leader of the 70s band- Sweet Charity. (Think of Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones), the great guitar maestro- Man Kidal, guitarist of the band of Lefthanded and also Man Dayak (drummer) and Yan (bassist), also from the same band- Lefthanded. And so, the house took off their hat and invited them to rock the stage. They performed a slow number of Bob’s “Knocking of heaven’s door” & Rod Stewart’s “I don’t want to talk about it” as well as other rocking numbers from Deep Purple and Black Sabbath.

And I guess I must call it off. So buggers, this is a call from me and thanks for being one true blog army and stay tune. Till then, stay true to yourself and don’t be hypocrite. We see each other again.

Closing song- StereokuMonomu by OAG

Writing this page by the pool side in my condo, Pantai Hillpark.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Natalia's Traveling Journal across South America!

Hi Blog Army,

My apology for not writing consistently. I guess right now there isn't much traveling from my side so not much story and train of thought to share.

As you can see, this is the first time I am gonna actually do this, to interblog. Here I am going to feature a traveling journal of a friend across South America. Personally when I read it the first time I really like it and honestly I can feel the "everything" about traveling/backpacking in her writing. And I ended up read and reread it for many time to come.

The journal also carry a memory when I was reading Che Guevara's motorcycle diary, at the time of traveling Mumbai-Baroda-Delhi. The book was about the young Che, experiencing and exploring the beauty and sceneric, God Sent landscape of South America continents.

Natalia is a friend I met and hung out with during my earlier time in Pune, India. I think it was in late 2004, early 2005. In fact, we travelled together, also with other crazy friends to Goa, New Year Eve 2004. This cute and sexy Colombian girl is one happening chick that never stop to amaze you. OK, enough said- let's enjoy her traveling journal through South America.


The Rada family (my dad, my bro and i), in an unusual behave and anxious craziness decided to Natibo - Visa Expedition in National Geographic Chanel, but in local version we named it "Natibo - USDcash Expedition in Radational Geographic". Initial plans were Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Brazil and Uruguay. But in a real dimension of the trip (time, distances and the way back) we got rid of Brazil and Bolivia. Finally we drove 16000km it self only and enjoy thousands of landscapes, places, food and wonderful moments. As soon as we got back, we found out that South America rules!, the roads in several places suck! food in Peru and Argentina are the best, guys in Argentina are much better than Calvin Klein models, Chile is as expensive as Europe and a very important issue: Definitely, indeed, a world wide knowledge is that u need more than one month to do that trip and as soon as u go back u are totally able to send your cv to a bus transportation company (bolivariano o velotax in Colombia) and no chances of not being hired or being rejected your application.! )

In a final footnote of this abstract it is proper to say that a trip of that kind carries consequences on. Skinniness, over exposure of sun (skin burns) (in the desert), extreme tiredness, sleepless nights and very early start journeys.

Introduction: last 21th of December 2005, we left nice Ibague and drove to the southern roads of Colombia, we crossed Cali, Pasto and Ipiales where finally we got to the first costume and found for very first time foreign floor.

Ecuador is a normal country, with very beautiful landscapes thanks to the Andean mountain, full of volcanoes, snow mountains and a general truth: Banana crops, Ecuador is the banana country! despite they have a very annoying accent (perfect for me and my jokes) i found it very similar to the south of Colombia (Nariño state), so my impression was "they are southern Colombians but with passports", ah but also in a low quality version. So i don't want to sound rude or
unrespectful but i just want u to know that ecuatorians and Peruvians think that Colombians are the south American genius, the big potential country, the Cosmo and first world of third world.

Well, over there i learnt a lot of history in every museum, Architecture is just amazing and the guinea pigs are the main course everywhere, so where ever u go, do what ever they do... so welcome rats to your stomach. We were in Ibarra, Quito, Guayaquil and Huaquillas where the costume is. Huaquillas is the ecuatorian side and Aguas Verdes is the peruvian side... i have never been in a worst place than those in my entirely life and in the entirely world. So it wasn't nice my first step on Peru. At this level i must do a historical aclaration.

Colombia during the earliest 90 was bombed by Peru tv channels, i was a kid at that time so a entire generation including my self, picked up a lot of feelings for Peru, i learnt vocabulary, traditions and words and a ghost that never leaves: Laura in America, a talk show that changed forever our perception of Peru because it showed the worst of that beautiful country, the people poverty and the lowest dimension of a society, so we grew up with a standard conception of what Peru was, but personally i kept thinking that that tv talks how was just a play not the real life. Fast, i found out that it wasn't faked, i faced my self with the country of señorita Laura*(see note below). Then i developed a shame and pity feeling because Peru it's too cool to be true, but its ruin by some jerks and i could understand lots of its problems just seeing the essence of its culture, history and roots, and mainly because i found it as the India of America in many issues. Then my nice feelings were also due to my links and good memories of India, somehow i felt i was in India so was weird and nice too. Of course i laughed a lot remembering my childhood and cuz i couldn't believe that Peru was real just at it is.

About the Indian point, just imagine and think of how i felt, first thing, they have rickshaws!!! bajaj Brand and they call em bajajs, mototaxis or motocarros, so same noise, same horn, same feeling when u are in India, second, Traffic is just annoying, they don't know how to drive! crazy, unbelievable, third, national sport is to horn, fourth, smells are disgusting sometimes and fifth how pp look like its just to much! (objects or characters described previously are not a product of imagination but any seem item compared to India its just coincidence)

So away from Indian memories, back in Peru, we went to Mancora, which are the best beaches of Peru but what a shame cuz they are horrible, or lets say that im used to go to the Caribbean and comparing both there is a big loser (pacific!), Then we went to Chiclayo, great city with the full report of Mochique culture, a pre Incan civilization, full of archaeologyc treasures. Chimbote is a fisher-town so that was the stinkiest city of Peru, with the prawn's head pp make fish flour and animal food so its just unbelievable the stinkyness and smell of dead fish. but it was not cuz we wanted to be there, was just a obligatory point where u pass through to Lima. Lima is an enormous city, too poor in its major area but its historical centre its just fabulous, magnifique, amazing, they had a lot of money during the "virreinato of Peru" (colonial times) so they have republic architecture, full of cathedrals, convents, museums, balconies and very beautiful and delightful historic area. Miraflores is nice cuz is the financial centre so buildings are amazing and very luxurious!!! Driving south way we went to Nazca, great area of pre-Incan civilization who made figures in the desert sand, perfectly matched with the sun and the moon in order to be used as a calendar, and only can be seen from high distances so i.e by plane, so we hired a plane and they made the flight amazing, we saw a hummingbird, a seagull, a condor, a monkey, a dog, a parrot, a crocodile, a whale, and more geometric figures.

It was one of the most exiting moments of the trip but we went forward cuz we still got a lot of distance to drive.....We arrived to Tacna the border town of Peru with Chile, we crossed the border and immediately u know that u are in a different world, first world, Chile is the wealthiest country in South America and is the 25th economy of the world pole, also taking care that Brazil is one of the tops and the rest, like our are over the 50s positions so no chances to feel a brotherhood besides the fact that they speak Spanish hehehe. Chile has a strong economy based on crops, mineral resources and fishing industry, Chile is a desert... Atacama desert takes forever and it's like the road-runner stage, when u think u will pass an one hour landscape.. damn! copy-paste, the same landscape for hours so it is very dangerous to drive cuz u cant find a gas station in hours and wind strength keeps u focused in the road. We crossed places where never have rained in the hole earth time so just imagine the place. Chile's food is so crappy that we ate mc donals only jejeje, hard to believe but was better and cheaper. Arica, Antofagasta, Vallenar, La Serena, Viña del Mar and Santiago was our Schedule. Viña was too cool but a shame that there are not beaches available for swimming... waves are to dangerous and fucking cold so no a real mood for the beach!! Santiago is very close and we went to the downtown, the zoo because my biologist bro wanted to, and we left to Mendoza Argentina through the Aconcagua border!!!. Santiago is a nice city, very cosmopolitan, i cant deny it, very good approach to first world, no poor pp, no dirtiness, good subway, good roads, good infrastructure, good services, expensive hotels, expensive and horrible food, ugly girls and flirting guys**.

Finally we left to Argentina, Andeans at that level are quite different of them that we saw in Ecuador or Peru, dryness makes them light brown but still a very beautiful chain. Mendoza is the first city u find in Argentina, it is a great city with a lot off things to do and mainly to buy!!! Wines there are just amazing!! Very well done and cheap!!! Argentina was kind of surprise for me cuz was very cheap and life it's very nice, for example u can have the best meat ever in the hole world, juicy, tender and with a perfect taste plus salad, fries, beer and wine, all in a meal for 3 pp and for just 20 usd!!! Yep believe it or not that's the price that u pay for a very good meal in Argentina. Also besides food and guys, I found out that pp are really kind.. I think they are one of the kindest pp of south America, even when pp used to think that Argentineans were different and not helpful at all, but I think they are amazing pp.

So in Buenos Aires we went to very beautiful places like the pink palace, the recoleta cemetery, el barrio de la Boca and Caminito. El barrio de la Boca is the place where during the 19 th and 20th century, Tango was created and a tango culture was found. Caminito was the exact place where u can have a beer and watch a tango spectacle and all tourist life is developed, also u can find there Boca stadium! Yep, one of the thousand monuments of soccer in Argentina, where Maradona played and more famous Argentinean soccer players.

Buenos Aires was great but we didn't spend much time there so I really want to go back one of this coming days. Finally and finishing our journey in the south, we went by ferry to Uruguay!! Through the River Plate channel, it is the widest river of the world! so it takes 3hrs to cross it, but in the slow ship! We spent a day in Colonia del Sacramento, it is a beautiful and historical city, full of museums and very small, I was wondering how could it be possible cuz it was too small and so many museums, also the spotlights are great and sometimes u can see lights from Buenos Aires. Then we were done, it was 14 th of January so we had only 10 days to go back in a marathon session!!.

So me and my bro decided to step on the gas!! And drive as fast as possible. i was pulled over in Chile because excess of speed mm yes I shouldn't say it, im not proud of it just it happened and my brother too in Ecuador (I was not the only one), but in Ecuador we got rid of the ticket giving to the officer some money but in Chile I had to apologize and tell them that was the very first time, that I was not watching my speed level and I wont do it again. Hehe. Well after a crazy and exhausting marathon we arrived to Arequipa!!!! We left our car there and we took a bus to Cuzco!!!, hehehe dear friends if we hadn't gone to Machu Picchu we had wasted so much effort. It's like go to India and don't go to the Taj Mahal!!

So we went to Cuzco by bus, mm kind of disappointing when u know and have to pay the price to go to Machu Picchu!! Its about 150 usd!! For just one day and not first class service!!, for that price sometimes u think u will have a great service but…mmm….ok I must say that finally it worth it when u realized and don't have to pay anything else.. it worth!!! I started to like llamas and vicunas, they run free there and it is an amazing place with a mystic and a respect feeling. Indeed u must go to Cuzco, around it and Machu Picchu of course, that last visit was the top, the great end of our trip!!

Finally, i don't want to write any more! So I just have left that South America it's awesome! Amazing! It was a great and crazy trip but it worth every km u drive, every place u stay, every food u taste, everything u learn!!

When I got back I was too tired that I said that I would never do that trip again but now if somebody wants me to be a personal guide, im available!! Im a human version of lonely planet south America!!

Thanks for the sponsors of this trip (dad), the car (my dad's), the money (dad's and bro's) and the keenness needed!! (that was my asset)
Please attach comments and reactions!!! Can I apply for any redaction skill Prize? (Pulitzer / Nobel / Asturias xxx?)

Bye I hope u like my tale!!
Nata, experimented driver and skinny underweight Colombian friend!

*by the way she was found guilty and was in jail because she was involved with corrupted transactions of thousands of dollars during Montesino's scandal and several links with Fujimory and its corrupted government

** gender specifications: Colombians and Argentineans both genders are beautiful, super pretty pp, pp in Peru are a shame, not possible to find a nail of a miss universe in Peru, its enough to say that im tall in Peru..., girls in Chile are ugly, guys are flirting all the time but are a defected version of Argentinean guys, ohh Ecuador are a very cheap imitation of Colombians but a better edition of Peruvians but still not good casting and finally Argentineans... heaven....Greek Goddess....Batistuta is the ugliest!!!! i didn't know where to see and who to flirt....the policeman, the postman, the seller, the driver, the supermarket attendant, the waiter, the guy who ask u for money cuz he doesn't have any to eat!!! ohhhhh Argentina.....a fantasy for girls plan or ladies night!!!!! im considering seriously go to Argentina again but without bodyguards (dad and bro)

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Blog is back- Cold day in the sun

12 March 2006 (2 days to my birthday)

Song: Leaving New York by R.E.M and rest of their songs from the album “Around the sun”

Place: In my bedroom

It has been a while since the last time I did this, updating my blog or writing something meaningful that chronicle my life. The last time I did this was some three months ago when I first came back from India and my 40 days traveling there were still fresh in my mind. Well, obviously, time flies by and it does really fast, faster than the light some might say.

The reasons why I haven’t been writing for so long now is I guess it’s just too hard for me bridge the life I had in India and the one I am living now in Malaysia. The gap is just too wide to bridge and plus, lots of thing had happen and I didn’t have time to piece it all together. To say I don’t have time is lame so I better word it the way that I had been tied down and had been bitten by harsh realities.

After all these months and excusing myself from writing and ignoring my inspiration and train of thought, here I am now- breaking the ice and kick starting an effort to bride this torn life transition.

Song: The Outsiders by R.E.M & Q-Tip, my favorite one in the album.

It’s funny sometime I think that the time I am having and the life I was living had actually come to an end. I thought it was never meant to end the truth is it had come to an end. And so the end is the beginning- The end of something is the beginning of another. Life is like that, it keep on moving and never a time it pause, not even when we blink for a second.

It had been four months now and sometime subconsciously, my mind is still finding it hard that my life is here and is gradually bitten by the harsh realities here. And I think it is hard also to come to know that life is about us facing the eventual reality that if everybody given a choice they would likely to runaway- the commitments. I always love the carefree and commitment-less kind of life, doing what I wanna do, treating the world like a playground and wonderland. So the thought of I living life somewhere out of familiarity, subconsciously is still there. It became blurry at the beginning point of commitment. One by one is ushering in and they, the devil’s tools are gonna sucking me dry.

So I am working now, and in about three day time, it will mark the three months I am with this company. Working is the first chapter of life with commitment. Then there is car and credit card. And that’s it- my arms and legs and neck is tied to the ground of bitter reality. I can now foregoing about the plan of my backpacking, at least for the near future.

If you ask Ceasar, he would surely describe my phase of life now is tantamount to rebuilding an empire. I was working hard and sacrificing my life after graduating for about two years, living life not programmed by society and was without the devil’s tools like credit cards and proper jobs, sustaining life with menial jobs and surrounded by surrounding of high life and egoistic materialistic and future oriented society. That was never easy and I went through it and the reward was the best time of my life- India!

And now, even though I am still all for it, living life in another place, I just couldn’t do it anymore. To do it again is like rebuilding an empire. And I am rebuilding an empire now. Life is short and we gotto live it. Dream may go away but it never shatters. Hence when the empire is rebuild, dream will be back in one piece and I will be leaving on a jet plane. Only time will tell.

This is the fact life for people like us who weren’t born into a wealthy family, feed by silver spoon. I always like to say that there isn’t any money falling down from trees above or coming out of the closet. So for people like me, if I ever want to live my dream life, discovering and experiencing the unknown, the only way to do it is to investing my time and working my ass out and pray-pray, with a little help- I will be there.

I was listening to some of my old CDs and there was this song and particularly its lyric really caught me again. And this is how it goes, an excerpt- “It’s the price we gotto pay, and all the games we gotto play, it makes me wonder if it’s worth to carry on, Cause it´s a game we gotta lose Though it´s a life we gotta choose And the price is our own life until it´s done ” *

This excerpt is in me now for more than one reason, about life and also about a very interesting person I befriended with.

This is just an attempt to come back to my blog and to bridge my life then in India and my life now in Malaysia. And I think this is a good start though it may sound like cold day in a sun. So, this blog had been rejuvenated and with that I invite you people keep coming back. This is to all the beautiful people of all colors, places and gender, whom I met, befriended and in love with, this is for you.

Signing Off,


· The excerpt of the song if “The Price by Twisted Sister”

* I am also begun to write poem and song again. Please visit