Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Written by: Peter
(Inspired by God)

I was being shot, many times over
And I fall into the deepest hole
Surrounded by the complete darkness
Darkest moment, total confusion

In the deepest hole, I keep falling down,
Every moment of falling down
Was filled with utmost pain,
Like an arrow, straight to my heart

The red that I saw and felt, now has turned black
Hence my soul bleed profusely
And my heartbeat bang a drum
And I cry tearless tears

And when I hit the lowest of the low
I Crash Boom Bang!
The cancer inside was eating me lively
I was weak, helpless and hopeless

All those words I used to hold dearly
Now means nothing
It has lost its sense, logic and its magic

The God I used to pray is also nowhere
All my screaming and yelling seems in vain
So I was weak again, trembling and shaking like a child
Losing their Mother
So I beg to Him again, to have mercy to this poor little soul
I beg and I beg, now lying on the ground, emotionless and immobile
Begging Him to drag me out of the circle of darkness,
From the misery of this hole
Where I was uninvited and never want to be invited
And I receive No-Thing from the above

I am man, a lost man, a lame man, alone in this universe
All I need is love and all I long is to see the light of day
And when He denied me the very thing I desire the most at times like these,
I become a madman and I went berserk,
For I thought I had lost my soul, the essence of the essence
Man's greatest gift from God.

And so I shouted out my angst and hatred onto Him
Blaming Him (but not myself) for allowing me to be defeated again
In the game of love, and desperation
I called him unfair, unjust for he had forsaken me at times like these

Just when everything seems over
Just when I thought God isn't there anymore
Just when I thought I had lost completely, my will and courage to live on

There He was!

Speaking to my heart, through His angels
I was being lifted, slowly and gradually being pull out of the darkness
The night had now becoming day
I begin to see the light of day
The ray of hope
The love of life

He made me understand things that no one could ever do
Life itself is bigger than the black hole where I once belong

Not only I was being lifted,
I was being taught again, re-act, to see the world and life itself
From a bigger perspective
Life is too beautiful to be doomed

There is God
And He had granted us the most beautiful gift
The Soul, the essence of the essence, the original thought
At times like these, all we need to do is to be out of our mind
And get back to our senses, our soul, our original thought, our truth

The soul will not lie to us, only the mind and heart that will manipulating us
To believe everything that is untrue and negatives

God communicate to us in many ways, and only through the soul, we can listen to Him
That is when we resolve all of our complexities, regardless what
And that is God, a caring God

I was too blind, too depressive and too shallow to listen to the soul or to see God
I forgot where I belong and I accused Him of forsaken me
But the truth was, I forsaken Him

Now that I am outside the circle of darkness, the deepest hole
Looking in
I see myself and life itself the way I used to
That the life is bigger and the universe is more meaningful than the tiny black hole itself

And I am smiling now
I am happy for I had regain the will to survive
The ability to view life in larger sense
The power to rise above all things
To transcend miseries and all negativities that had defeated me

Re-member this
That all is not all until it is all

Author's note: When you are at the lowest of the low, just remember that there is God, a caring God to help you, if you listen carefully to your soul. And to listen to your soul, you must be out of your mind and straight to your soul because the soul is your original thought and therefore will NOT lie to you.

To Quote Neale Donald Walsch from Conversations with God 2:
"When you express your truth with love, negative and damaging results rarely occur, and, when they do, it is usually because someone else has chosen to experience your truth in a negative or damaging way. In such a case, there is probably nothing you can do to avoid the outcome"