Monday, March 13, 2006

The Blog is back- Cold day in the sun

12 March 2006 (2 days to my birthday)

Song: Leaving New York by R.E.M and rest of their songs from the album “Around the sun”

Place: In my bedroom

It has been a while since the last time I did this, updating my blog or writing something meaningful that chronicle my life. The last time I did this was some three months ago when I first came back from India and my 40 days traveling there were still fresh in my mind. Well, obviously, time flies by and it does really fast, faster than the light some might say.

The reasons why I haven’t been writing for so long now is I guess it’s just too hard for me bridge the life I had in India and the one I am living now in Malaysia. The gap is just too wide to bridge and plus, lots of thing had happen and I didn’t have time to piece it all together. To say I don’t have time is lame so I better word it the way that I had been tied down and had been bitten by harsh realities.

After all these months and excusing myself from writing and ignoring my inspiration and train of thought, here I am now- breaking the ice and kick starting an effort to bride this torn life transition.

Song: The Outsiders by R.E.M & Q-Tip, my favorite one in the album.

It’s funny sometime I think that the time I am having and the life I was living had actually come to an end. I thought it was never meant to end the truth is it had come to an end. And so the end is the beginning- The end of something is the beginning of another. Life is like that, it keep on moving and never a time it pause, not even when we blink for a second.

It had been four months now and sometime subconsciously, my mind is still finding it hard that my life is here and is gradually bitten by the harsh realities here. And I think it is hard also to come to know that life is about us facing the eventual reality that if everybody given a choice they would likely to runaway- the commitments. I always love the carefree and commitment-less kind of life, doing what I wanna do, treating the world like a playground and wonderland. So the thought of I living life somewhere out of familiarity, subconsciously is still there. It became blurry at the beginning point of commitment. One by one is ushering in and they, the devil’s tools are gonna sucking me dry.

So I am working now, and in about three day time, it will mark the three months I am with this company. Working is the first chapter of life with commitment. Then there is car and credit card. And that’s it- my arms and legs and neck is tied to the ground of bitter reality. I can now foregoing about the plan of my backpacking, at least for the near future.

If you ask Ceasar, he would surely describe my phase of life now is tantamount to rebuilding an empire. I was working hard and sacrificing my life after graduating for about two years, living life not programmed by society and was without the devil’s tools like credit cards and proper jobs, sustaining life with menial jobs and surrounded by surrounding of high life and egoistic materialistic and future oriented society. That was never easy and I went through it and the reward was the best time of my life- India!

And now, even though I am still all for it, living life in another place, I just couldn’t do it anymore. To do it again is like rebuilding an empire. And I am rebuilding an empire now. Life is short and we gotto live it. Dream may go away but it never shatters. Hence when the empire is rebuild, dream will be back in one piece and I will be leaving on a jet plane. Only time will tell.

This is the fact life for people like us who weren’t born into a wealthy family, feed by silver spoon. I always like to say that there isn’t any money falling down from trees above or coming out of the closet. So for people like me, if I ever want to live my dream life, discovering and experiencing the unknown, the only way to do it is to investing my time and working my ass out and pray-pray, with a little help- I will be there.

I was listening to some of my old CDs and there was this song and particularly its lyric really caught me again. And this is how it goes, an excerpt- “It’s the price we gotto pay, and all the games we gotto play, it makes me wonder if it’s worth to carry on, Cause it´s a game we gotta lose Though it´s a life we gotta choose And the price is our own life until it´s done ” *

This excerpt is in me now for more than one reason, about life and also about a very interesting person I befriended with.

This is just an attempt to come back to my blog and to bridge my life then in India and my life now in Malaysia. And I think this is a good start though it may sound like cold day in a sun. So, this blog had been rejuvenated and with that I invite you people keep coming back. This is to all the beautiful people of all colors, places and gender, whom I met, befriended and in love with, this is for you.

Signing Off,


· The excerpt of the song if “The Price by Twisted Sister”

* I am also begun to write poem and song again. Please visit