28th February 2005
I must confess that the spirit of writing is heading more and more towards the back of my mind. I almost gave up of writing about my life abroad (I won the battle of convincing myself to write over the other me) because as life goes on and especially there isn’t much travelling to be done lately hence no discovering, life had been quite monotonous and repetitive, doing the same thing over and over again. This kind of repeated activities somewhat killing my enthusiasm of recording my testimony of living life faraway from home. It is unlike the first three month, where I kept the fire of writing on my shoulder and no matter how strong the wind were, the flame never go off. But at this point of life, the wind seems to be over the fire and I no longer have the enthusiam anymore. Perhaps, this is what they call the dark side of one’s path or route in life journey where the engine of courage stuck and jerk a little and will soon begin to slow down.
Thanks to Paulo Coelho and Ernesto Che Guevara which books I had been recently read. Their way of writing might be one of the reasons why I am still writing at this moment. In Che Guevara’s “The Motorcycle Diaries” and Paulo Coelho’s “The Valkries”, the masterpiece shows wonderful part of writing their life journey through their travelling and discovering and challenges, obstacles, people and places that stood along their wonderful journey. These are the things that they encounters and experience and that is what inspire me to do the same, which keep recording this point of life, of the people I meet, of the places I travel and of course on how life was so tough on me and how I still live on, which I believe soon to be the greatest masterpiece I ever produce to be treasure, at least to myself some 10 years down the road.
If last week was full of farewell, then I would I say this week is pretty much the same, losing more and more crazy happy shiny people. The farewell dinner of Thomas C1 (the one that broke my tooth and later funded the whole surgery) and Tom UK (the Paul Bettany look-alike) was held in one of the expensive restaurant somewhere in the neighbourhood. It was witnessed with awesome delicacies and dessert, speeches and farewell gifts.
At the end of the exquisite dinner, the restaurant tried to cheat us by charging us for 21 bottles of beers (instead of 14) but after some debating with the ke-ling-kia –tei (Indian attitude), the customer proved to be always right.
And if that is not enough, this week, Mario the Slovak/German and Nills the big guy, also German is leaving us. Michael the CDD will bid us goodbye one week after Mario and Nills. These are really cool dude to hang out and travel with and I have to say that it will be felt when they are gone. While didn’t have the opportunies to travel with Nills (except for pattying), travelling with Mario and Michael the CDD had been great (Hampi, Goa and Matheran hill station)
The departure of Thomas and Tom (they went travelling before leaving India for good) and the soon-to be depart, Mario, Nills and Michael the CDD marked the arrival of some new trainees. Trude, from Norway had been with us for about two weeks now and Yushi (crazy guy), from Japan just arrived two days ago.
Another new trainee, my rock buddy, Martin from Germany also had been with us for almost two weeks now. He played the guitar (acoustic and lead) in the band as well as the bass guitar. He looks like the vocalist/guitarist of the band Everclear. Also, the non AIESEC trainee, Erin’s friend, Nina from Iceland Reunion, the clean shaven, philosophical girl. (She asked me who gave me the right to kill the mosquitoes)
Wednesday night, Marielle, Nills the big guy, me, Erin, Nina, Omar, Dawson and Carolina went to the most famous club in Koregeon Park for a open air concert by Rabbi, the upcoming and infamous rock star of India. The atmosphere and the setting look like one of the Rock Festival, building of amplifiers, big stage, people lying on the field, boozy and chicks etc. The performance was open by local band who called themselves “Sankara”. Their type of music is a combination of fusion rock/progressive rock music with sufism. The drummer especially, was the star of the night. At around 10pm, Rabbi came onto stage, with his usual outfit and appearance. He is a Punjab. He was wearing turban and his traditional costume, holding up a Fender guitar with his bandmates, comprises of bassist, drummer, keyboardist and a lead guitar. He rock the stage with both English and Hindi but most of the songs were in local language. Though I didn’t understand most of the part, but I can sense that he is quite a entertainer and a joker. Anyway, he was a good guitar player who worships Jimi Hendrix. The disappointment was the actual record was all the same but without the rock jamming.
Nills and Marielle were drunk and they stay the same for the next three days to come (4 days in a row). After Rabbi, we went to the inside, to dance the whole damn night away. And as for me, I somewhat lost interest in clubbing lately. I wasn’t as lively as I used to be. Most of the time, I would prefer to chill in my new balcony, smoking, drinking and reading or contemplating at anything or nothing with of course, great chill out music. Or maybe because I feel the pinch in my pocket (I live with very little money and most of the time quite broke) every time I receive the invitation to the clubs. My mission here is to travel and sees more places as much as possible. In order to fulfil that, I need to live life as sufficient (or insufficient you may want to put it) as it could be.
We started talking about our reunion already and might be taken place at the end of the year at either Amsterdam or Prague. I had miss my first Malaysian trainees reunion at Prague last year (for obvious reason) but for this time, my own reunion, as much as I would like to go, I am already laughing at the possibilities of my presence there regardless of Amsterdam or Prague. But, as for now, I have so much stuff in my head so I won’t spend time having headache over petty issue like that and anyway, it is still long to go. Nothing is predictable, so I would leave it just like that.
I already lost tracks on which days for which event already but anyway, I will just keep on writing, relying fully on the memory recollection of my brain.
One of the deep, dead silence Friday night, if I am not mistaken, I was reading Paulo Coelho’s “The Valkries”, couldn’t remember of what I did before that, I finally decided to put off the book and goes to bed. It was a warm night and the pack of mosquitoes, always thirst for blood, were gathered and attacking all of our flesh, especially me, the only one who live without mosquitoes net. So I decided to die on the couch, in the living room that night and I did. I was about 15 minutes into an unknown world, maybe cosmic, couldn’t care less to remember anyway, suddenly, I was awaken by the loud door bell and within few seconds, I saw Nills, Marielle, Mario and two smart Indian (one guy and one sexy girl) ushering themselves to the house, completely high and drunk, shouting and talking between them. They were with few bottle of booze and one bottle of champagne and a big speaker (from C1) and without further consideration, they tune on the volume to the maximum, releasing the beat of HipHop into the air, so loud that it woke up the poor David. But you cannot blame them for such a intolerateable acts because they weren’t themselves, they were under the influence of alcohol. As for me, I was still peacefully wrapped like a corpse in my sleeping bag and when I finally came to my full awakening, I decided to join da´party. There’s a saying, if you can’t beat them, join them. Marielle was so drunk that she started to dance like a stripper.
Anyway, my relation as a flatmate (never friend) with Bernard the weirdo had gone straight to hell. It was bad before and now I think it is worse. He is the only pain in the ass and obviously, nobody like him and being a social outcast he always is, none of us never really heed or take his lamentation or favour. It all started from the same old issue, of storing weed in the house. India, like Malaysia, under their law, had made any forms of drugs illegal thus to possess them will consequence the owner of certain punishment. But like or unlike Malaysia, in many places in India like Goa, Hampi, Koregeon Park of Pune and many more, soft drugs are well tolerated. He, like always, freaking out on the possibilities of police raiding our house and ransacking all corners of the house and will arrest all of the occupants and sent all of them to jail for ten years because of the weed possession because some stranger or jealous neighbourhood will report to the police because he is too professional that he can tell from far the different of smoking weed and cigarette without even smelling it (I am being fucking sarcastic).
Technically he is right hence I am wrong but this fucking asshole didn’t ask is, if technically he is right and there is always a possibility of getting caught (highly unlikely), then why on earth the rest of the occupant of the house never care?. Why only him? It is because, they rest of them are normal like you and me. They chill, they don’t care, they don’t wanna be the pain in the ass, they know what is possible and what is not, they know it won’t happen. Anyway, since technically I was wrong, so I decided to feed him my word of not buying anymore. Period. These events follow up of many more disagreement which lead the relation of us to hell. (Omar had the similar problem with him on the same issue and had since stop buying any sort of drugs.)
Bernard is so fuck up that even the new trainee, housemate, Christian, hate him in his first day of arrival. (obviously because of his selfish act). Not to say Christian is any better than him but at least this mama boy is improving everyday. He looks like Stuart Townshend (About Adam), charming boy. At least he started to consume foods from the street, from the visitors, spicy foods and other stuff. Bernard, still eating tuna fish from the can and expensive foods and by doing that, he thought he is taking enough cautious. (yet, he is the one that on average, fall ill or sick at least twice a fortnight).
I was chatting with my friend, Allan, ex trainee to Malaysia (from Denmark) and we were talking about life and faraway. It is strange that one will start to ponder and contemplate about life, on how wonderful life is, how precious it is every single moment. That everything happens for a reason. Even though sometime, we might be defeated by the norm of society, but that doesn’t mean we should not get up from the fall. The best book that I can relate is Paulo Coelho’s “Veronica decides to die”. It is insane to be different and it takes lots of courage to do so. Be who you are NOT become what society want you to be. Be true to yourself. Listen to your soul, the essence of the truth because the soul doesn’t lie. If you are not strong enough, your mind (your second self, the element that have the power to absorb everything around hence influences) will manipulate your soul to do what you want. As for me, I always be truth to myself and I don’t care what people or society think about me. Why should I? Why being hypocrite? Why against your original self? In the book, “Veronica”, you will come to know that life is short and life is precious and there is no time to be pretentious or being hypocrite, that it is OK to be different, in order to be yourself. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be like those Chinese kids in university that always harp or emphasize on what the girls will perceive of them, about the clean image? What is clean image anyway? Who define clean image? I came to know lots of Chinese friends who want to smoke but are afraid someone (the girls) spotted them and therefore will label them, bad guy. Similarly to smoking, of wearing torn jeans, crumpy t-shirts, of swearing etc. I think that’s the greatest sin (if not the absolute greatest) is to go against yourself. I appear with outfit that suite me, I smoke because I want to smoke, I swear because I need to express my true feeling in the heat of the moment, I drink because I want to, I eat with hands in the college or in the restaurant and I hang around with the Malay whichever way I please as long as they are cool and click with me then they are my friend. Don’t ask why I mix with Malay or so and so. Society will often tell you this is bad and that is bad. Don't! Don’t listen to them, listen to yourself.
Do things that please yourself to please society not the other way round. Once you satisfy your soulneed, then only you will have the ease to do what you should do or contribute to the society BUT not doing things to please the society and then doing things what society want you to be, that’s unhealthy my friend. People always asked me why am I like that? That I smoke, or that I swear or that I talk openly certain issues that seems taboo to them or to the society I came from, for instance sex, religion, masturbation etc? And I said why not? To those who feel sorry for my attitudes or for my thinking and hoping I will change someday, I regret to inform you that I am growing outside my comfort zone, that what I think and act then is still what I am thinking and behaving now, maybe just stronger, more mature with little extra of compromises or toleration but never comply to what society want from me.
Dennis the Irish boy band look-alike had just got back from his one month travelling across India, with his Dutch friend, Vitas. He is currently bumming in my apartment. You see, traineeship and travelling is really good because along the way, you will meet lots of people, from all corners of the world, some from places you never even know exist and all of them have stories, thought and experiences to tell and share. Through them, you will come to learn life’s greatest lesson. Vita is only 22 years and he thinks like none of our university chinese dudes or (in general la…). He is now in the middle of his one year off his university and are currently residing in some remote area, in Kenya. He spent up all of his college fund, took one year off, to do what he believe is right, which is to be unselfish to the society that had mould and shape him. He is now with one of the NGO, championing education opportunity to the kids that all their life, depriving of basic education. He earns nothing there and is living off his college fund. While not denying that this is also his mission to live somewhere else with opposite situation to that of Holland, as well as for personal growth, he shared with us the actual value and of his actual satisfaction of living his life in Kenya. Through him, I also added some great materials to my music collection of some raggae music from Africa, some chill out music from the same continent as well as songs from Holland. We chatted a lots and in a few days, he will be going back to Kenya to do what he is now doing.
This reminds me of Ernesto Che Guevara´s motorcycle travelling across the whole Latin America, living and experiencing the poor, poverty, illness, deseaseness, hunger and hence learning and becoming one of the greatest revolutionary of the century to champion of what the people need. One of his passionate statement that touch me to the heart was “The life of one human being is much more worth than the total wealth of all the rich people in the world”, in his speech to the group of medical students, 1960, while he was active in the Cuba revolutionary group. This means, that no child should be left behind or being deprived by a fundamental needs of nutritious life, education etc while other march towards good life, under the mechanism of capitalism. Please note that I am not putting my stance on anything, I am merely sharing what I know.
On the Saturday night, Martin the Everclear and me went to a rock gig in Elysium. After Rabbi, I had set a high expectation for this gig. I had been to many gigs in my life. My first was when I was 14, at “Soul Fun”, Penang. Bands that time were Acid Rain, Poetic Amno, Cromok etc. And we were tranced by the music of Prodigy. Another one that I can remember was in Rock World, Penang. This is when I was in my teen, around 16, rocking with bands like OAG, Bollock, Acid Rain and some local punk bands. This was a memorable one because OAG then was starting to get famous with the Coca Cola contract and their major debut, “60´s TV”. See, Penang fans are not open for a sissy bands like OAG and such hence, the punks and gig goers were protesting and were booing OAG out of stage, throwing can and other hard objects onto the stage and finally, was burning the Coca Cola flags as a symbol of burning OAG as a band. The reason I gathered then was Radhi and rest of the band mates was labelled arrogant, disrespectful and hanging out only with groupies and were completely high on drugs minutes before the gig.
Then another festival in Ace Planet, Penang, New Year eve of 1994, where lots of Malay hard rock bands and some Penang bands (one of them were from my school) were performing. Some of the famous band were Yantzent and May, Rahim Maarof and lots more. The same things that happen to OAG earlier also happen to this pop group who then was on their way up (now the biggest and the most talented group who own their own business empire ), KRU. They were thrashed on stage and were booed off the stage. This followed by a bloody fight and commotion and to make matter more interesting, me and my best friend, walked back to our house, the distance that took us 6 hours. The rest were history.
Another one was in Unplugged Pub, Penang where I did my first stage dive, crashed and smash the amplifiers and mike stands so hard that it crash so badly, small fight with one guy when my boot accidentally hit his head when I dived off the stage, warned by the bouncer for smashing the amps and lights and lots more. I can´t remember the numbers of gigs I had attended, not to mention major concert like Deep Purple, Incubus, Linkin Park, Scorpion, Search, Godbless etc.
Anyway, I was expecting something like Rabbi, open air, full stage but it turn out to be the lousiest gig I ever attended in my lifetime. The band (from Mumbai) that promised to deliver covers from Nirvana, Pink Floyd, REM, Incubus etc were completely let down. They called themselves “Teenage angst” and they were without a bassist and a drummer. Only one vocalist and two lead, which didn’t play lead at all, only strumming, The sounds were so bad that they stop and paused many times, not to mention they started late. The singer was referring to the noted throughout the performance of merely 20 minutes. The setting and the PA system were all wrongly placed. PA system were in front of the stage. And for Martin, he was extremely disappointed too. Don´t give this shit to Martin, someone that had attended Metallica, RedHotChilliPepper, Tool, Motorhead etc. The only consolation we got that night was AFS, the only professional duo band who jam with only drum and bass, with extravaganza lighting and smoke machine and building of amps, it rocked the house down. They were original and playing only original materials and occasionally improvising some good materials on stage which kind of reminds me of Billy Sheehan (Mr Big) jamming with A Samad and the rest of the local musicians.
Mark Knopler of Dire Street is coming, live in Mumbai this Saturday. I want to go but I am not sure as the date is clashing with my tentative plan to travel to Buldana, 12 hours bus ride from Pune. Third week of March, I will be on the road again, this time to Southern Goa, Polerim, one of the most beautiful beach in the world.
Before I sign off, I would like to inform my blog army that I am extending my stay here in India. I just filed my visa extension last week and is now under process. My boss is also keen to extend my traineeship. So if everything is good, I will be staying until October 2005. After that, I will let life and love lead me through….till then, PEACE FOREVER!!!
Love & Regards,
Peter
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