“Catch 22” all the way

24. 01. 2005
Last week was all-wrong, in anything and everything I did hence the subject, Catch 22. Literally it means no matter what you do, things will go wrong. Quite similar to that of Murphy´s law.
Before I go on lamenting my weekly bullshit, allow me to wish you "Selamat Menyambut Aidil adha". Although I am in India, I could feel the vibe of the celebration, because of the Muslim population here.

The first catch 22 was, the cancellation or rather the "rain-checking" of my New Delhi business cum travelling trip. If this trip was game, then I am not supposed to write this bullshit right now. I am suppose to be in Delhi´s branch office, hooking up with Gesine the Gytneth Patrow, awaiting for the national parade in conjunction with India´s National Republican Day, travelling around Delhi which currently experiencing a very cold weather (less than 10 degree), then travelling to Jaipur, Rajakhtan and Taj Mahal, Agra.

But the fact is, today is Monday morning and I am in the office and writing this crapshit to you and me (in future) while neglecting all my working responsibilities.
So, what happen? My boss had approved our trip but the catch 22 was the secretary didn´t manage to book the express train ticket. That was the catch 22, the petty one.

So, Thomas and I had to spend our weekend in Pune, meaningless, not as anticipated. Mario, David, Marielle, Neils and Meike left to Hampi, Southern India for their travelling trip. Remember? The place where I wrote my "Hampi, the ancient civilisation revisited" some two month ago. So, the house left only me, Thomas, Omar and Anna, which most of the time not around, either hanging out with his flamboyant boss or working.

Thomas and I agreed that Omar is getting strange and weird eversince he started to read Neill Walsch´s "Conversation with God". He is now getting more philosophical about the existence of life, death, religion, yoga and stuff. He seems to be talking and following what his soul wanting him to do.

Nothing much to boast about that weekend, except for few more catch 22. Saturday morning, Omar and I went to Laksmi road with his scooter, to ronda-ronda kotaraya which I ended up buying the new John Grisham´s "The Broker" and Omar ended bought some expensive yoga books and Dan Brown´s "Digital Fotress". That night, instead of going to the latest dance pub "Fire & Ice", I spent that night at home, alone, with few bottle of cheap booze and a rented movie, a 70´s classic "Scarecrow" starring Al Pacino and Gene Hackman. I guess I just wanna chill at home and save more money for travelling. Also, because I was broke already, not much money left.

Sunday morning, I woke up with so much of satisfaction and happy feeling because it was a good and long sleep into wonderland. Like every Sunday, I got so charge up and started to clean up the living room and later settle down with Jim Morrison´s bio before I dozed off again on the couch.

Jim Morrison and The Doors was now the most famous, at the top, American band in that year, which is 1968 with the song "Hello, I love you" topping the American chart. Harrison ford (Yes, your Indiana Jones or Star wars hero) just joined The Doors´s roadie or crew member and among his chores was to transporting some specific amps and also to find some herbs for The Doors.

The rest of the doors with the producer and the recording house just sold the right of "Light my fire" to General Motors for their latest car advertisement and the decision of this deal marked the beginning of the end of The doors when Jim was so piss off with the facts that the decision was made without him (he was drunk and disappeared like always for few days). He used to call them brothers but now, he call them the associates and he don´t trust them anymore like he used to.

That year was also the year The Doors penetrated into European market with their tours to Germany, Holland, Sweden and Denmark.

The second catch 22 was the package that I was anticipating so much from Malaysia. After so much of hassles and so much of involvement, I managed to get the package from DHL. But, the catch 22 was, DHL want me to pay an unexpected tax duties for 800 rupees (RM 80) which according to them, is out of their control and is required by the custom of India.

Nevermind that my brother had to paid RM 52 (after 75% off) but now the receiver, which is me, had to pay 80 bucks, which kind of piss me off because no one clarify this to me beforehand. If I was to know prior to this, I might not want this package sent in the first place. I am mad because of the Indian custom not because of DHL or whoever. How can they impose something like that? Fucking ke ling kia…

Even more pathetic, the package which contain 21 package of Maggi (about RM 15) cooking ingredients are suppose to cut my living cost since I am so much into cooking, but now because of the custom, the plan got backfired, I have to pay even more money in order to save. Who´s the fucking victim? Who got fuck up big time? Of course, me…

The package also contain some of my favourite CD namely my instrumental Jazz CD of Evan Mark (original, bought it from flee market) and 5 pirated CD namely Bob Marley, OAG, Dream Theatre, Motley Crue and Mr Big which total value are about (RM 25). See the shitty senseless thing here, the package is not even RM 80 but the tax are, not to mention the cost of sending.
I decided to dump the package despite my high anticipation on these things. I was planning to cook more Malaysian foods for friends here as well as to listening to more of my favourite CDs but now all are in vain.

You may say: Ah…cmon, it is just RM 80… but when you are into a situation, a traveller´s situation, then things are different especially when it comes to budgeting. When you are traveller, you need to think like a traveller. Even the European trainee, the first mindset they change is to constantly telling themselves that this is India and they are earning rupees instead of euro dollar. With 800 rupees, I can travel to Hampi and stay for maybe 2 days or equivalent to my one week of daily expenditure.

Mei Ching, if you happen to read this, please don´t misunderstand that I am mad at you. No, I am not mad at anybody, in fact, big thanks to you, for your help and kindness. I am just mad at the India custom for having such law and the accumulative catch 22 events that happen to me, that heating up my anger at the time of writing this bullshit. And, please call my brother to collect the money. My brother thinks you are shy to collect the money.

Sunday noon, Erin, the girl from the State, Anna, their Indian friend and me (and later join by Omar) went to Barista coffee garden. We hung out there for quite a long time, until 6 pm. Just chilling out, dozing off, reading and cool chilling coffee. I was reading Jim´s bio while Erin was reading the biography of Che Guevara, the infamous communist who help Fidel Caestro in building the communist state. But the bio was more on his younger year, around his 20s and was about his travelling (with motorcycle) and how he grew to believe in communism. The book is entitled "The motorcycle diary" and is now a motion picture, directed by Robert Redford.

Maybe after Jim, I will borrow from her the bio of Guevara. Anna was reading "My goal". Everything was so fine until catch 22 #3 came along. Suddenly, I felt dizzy and headache. Within short span of time, I dozed off with Jim´s bio on my chest. And when I woke up after that, about 45 minutes after that, I felt not only completely dizzy and headache but my vision was almost blur and again, hungry. So fuck up that I can´t even differentiates between headache and migraine. I was like, fuck!! What the fuck did I do to myself? Did I take drug?, Did I swallow LSD?, acid?. NO!!!

So I took a rickshaw back home, stop by the grocery store to buy two doughnut, rached home, swallow two tablet of aspirin and fuck off to bed. Luckily, two hours after that, I woke up and everything was getting fine. Omar’s friend from Egypt, names Kamal just arrived for both travelling and business opportunity. You know what? You will not believe me of saying this. Thia Kamal guy looks like Russell Crowe, in his early Australian film, where he played the character of gay, having gay relationship with his gay friend, at the same time about his open and frank relationship with his father, discussing everything under the sun. It was 1994 and the movie title is "The sum of us"

After I woke up from the crazy migraine-headache, Erin, Anna, Bernard, Omar, Kamal, Sharly and Thomas went to Shisha café, for a very good and exquisite dinner. Shisha café, the best Jazz café, was playing some tracks from Buena Vista Social Club. Since the dinner was expected to be quite expensive and having little money in my pocket, I brought some beer from home (hid in my pouch bag) and open it in Shisha café. I had my dinner at Burger King, famous for its "Big in quantity, shit in quality" burgers. I stuffed myself like crazy before joining the rest at Shisha.
Talking about café, there is this new café cum Internet café, XPRESS just newly open. If Shisha is about Jazz, then XPRESS is all about ROCK. For a few days already, I hung out there regularly. And the best thing was they open till late at night, at 3am.

Songs from Gary Moore, Deep Purple, Mr Big, Smokey Robinson, Cat Steven, Van Halen, AC/DC, Don McLean, Scorpion, UB40 etc were played. I am so regular that every staff including the manager and the owner (Punjabi) knows me already. Since they were rock, I also shared some of my rock materials and they quite like it like Poison, GnR, Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder, Styx, INXS, U2 etc.


Catch 22 #4 came along. That night I went back home without my favourite sweater. I lost it when I needed it most, when I am about to travel to the freakingly cold New Delhi. To conclude, I lost my Bono sunglassses in Goa, I lost my real sunglasses (again) last few day while riding DJ Shariff´s 180 cc superbike, I lost my Sheryl Crow CD, My new CDs of the Doors CD 1&2, my Eric Clapton´s blues, Kill Bill OST vol. 1 are all not working, lost my sweater, trip got cancelled or rain check, stupid migraine, stupid tax from the custom, dry lips, broke, piss off and etc.
So, tell me, why everything was so fuck up? I guess everything happen for a reason. So, instead of being so rage about it, why not just chill about it. Either way, I can´t change the facts that I am already fuck up.

By the way, Alp the Turkish guy left us, back to Turkey. Yesterday, a new German girl has arrived and tonight another German trainee is expected to be here. A German invasion, second coming of Hitler which I suspect Bernard the Jack Nicholson, elected spy of SS army, always acting weird and stick by the laptop.

Being Economy graduate, I always believe in the theory of the vicious cycle. That everything that hit the high, with also hit the low, like a cycle. So, for the past week, everything seems to me that it had hit the lowest of the low, so I guess, the next point is going to be on the way up.
Like Confucius, I also believe that everything that exists have its opposite site: heaven and hell, black and white, matter and antimatter, high and low, ying and yang etc. And for Catch 22, there is also its opposite side which I will call "de-catch 22". Please note that the word "de-catch 22" literally not exist. I claim it myself, but what the heck, if you like it, go ahead and use it but at your own risk.

Can you see the link? Catch 22 was the lowest point of vicious cycle and de-catch 22 is going to be highest point of vicious cycle and it is happening now.

First, my boss is still the same, supporting the idea of travelling to Delhi and at the same time, sight seeing (travelling). If everything is right, Thomas and I will be on train this Wednesday or worse still Thursday, unless no train ticket all the way until end of the month la…

I just got some of my claimant today (my pocket left like less than Rs 10), and will be getting some advances (of Rs 8000) for the trip and beginning of the month is coming, means I will be getting my monthly salary. Company agreed to issue me a letter for visa extension, and I already met up with Pradeep, for visa clarification and according to him, it is positive.

Will hook up with Gesine in Delhi most probably Thursday or Friday, depending on the ticket availability. I miss her so damn much that I can´t wait anymore to see her. And since our official working day will only start on the following Monday, we will stick to our plan to visit Taj Mahal, Agra and if time permit, will also travel to Jaipur, Rajakhstan.

Tonight, our friendliest and humble CEO and chairman, Dr. Naushad Forbes are inviting Omar, Thomas, kamal and I to a exquisite dinner in a extravaganza restaurant.

So, right now, I am going to fuck off and wait patiently, cross my finger, hoping that good things will happen to me (begin with the ticket availability).

That´s all my blog army, please don´t get offended when I say: NAMASTE MOTHERFUCKER!!!

With warmest regard, and big love (love is all we need),

Peter Ooi, growing goatie with clean shaving punk head

(The biggest motherfucker)