Dear Blog-Army
Foreword
This is an updated version. The song below, entitle "Negativity" is a song that I wrote some months ago. For those who knows me, and Christian- this song is about him, about his negativity. When I first published this song on my blog, some of you already mailed me to ask if it was about him. To those who asked, yes indeed, you were smart and sharp- it was about him. So, you ask, why out of the sudden rush, I re-post this song, complete with all the foreword jazz? It is because of my recent "controversial yet expected war" with Christian. This is not a close secret anymore and this is my blog. I think it is my duty to include detail about the war here.
The song was written and inspired by his sickening negatives attitudes and drives me and I believe almost everyone into great annoyance, irritating or sometime, exasperation. One of my friend (she’s a babe, swing…) shared the same feeling with me as she experience almost the same thing with this guy. She wanted me and encouraged me to mail him my song. I didn’t want to do it then but now I don’t care.
Few days ago, I sent the song to him but that was not the jazz that triggered the war. It was the enclosed email I wrote to him as a rebuttal to my proposition (please see the email after the song, posted up fresh, without any changes and unedited). I reckoned and admitted that my email was strictly blunt, bloody undiplomatic, straight to the point or like my Swedish friend would like to put: " Your email is like a shooting an enemy many times over with machine gun until the enemy dead on the ground and still, the shooting never stop" Paragraph by paragraph.
The email was intended for him and was not meant to be discussed, debate and need no further explanation. It was solely for him, to wake and shake him up to the real world, to the reality. I wrote that mail with clear conscious and offer no apology whatsoever, not now, not ever and not in this lifetime. Even as I am typing this, I still think it is a right thing to do. If I don’t do it, I know few people who gladly do it, either through words or verbal. Hence, my war with him received support and back-up from most people we both know especially those people who wanted to say the same thing to him. If you read on the mail (after the song), you will realize I wasn’t a evil- as Christian would like to put it, I was only playing the role of devil’s advocate. I was the bad guy with good intention. I want him to change but apparently as arrogant and egoistic as he always is, he failed to grasp the hidden message.
Instead of acting like a man, he choose to launch a war with me, smashed in the middle of the office. It was an ugly war and shone out the foolishness and weaknesses of both of us. And now we both act like a little girl- not talking to each other. I will talk to him for one last time, explaining the reason I wrote that email BUT if he still ignorance, then I am sorry for this dude. I was only playing the role of devil’s advocate.
After all, why should I care about him. I will not be seeing this guy again, most probably in this life once my traineeship is over. I couldn’t care less. All I want is for him to change and if he fail to see that, again…sorry dude, where’s my car??
This song and email is and never about other people, it was and is always about him and me. If your name is mentioned in the email, please take my apology in advance.
Sincerely yours,
Peter
Negativity
Written by Peter
People are running, you are walking
People are jumping in happiness, you are squatting with sadness
People are smiling with utmost joy, you are frowning with sheer agony
People are climbing up, you are sliding down
People are blessed with the shining sun, you are merely sweating
People are dancing in the rain, you are in-hiding, afraid of the wet-ness
People-Stereo, You-Mono
Draggin’ me down
Draggin’ me down
Draggin’ me down
Into your shallow negativity
I don’t want to swim in your negativity no
I don’t want to dwell in your discomfort anymore
I don’t want to listen to your petty complaint no more
I don’t want to be bothered by your stupid annoyance
Listen you prank, I am shouting out to you- I don’t want to know everything stinks about you anymore
Listen you shit-head, I am shouting out to you- you are nothing but nuisance
Your problems and your attitudes drive me into exasperation
Listen you knee-jerk, I am shouting to you- don’t give no more any of your pulp fiction
Another one coming- you’ll gone from the face of the earth
Draggin’ me down
Draggin’ me down
Draggin’ me down
Into your negativity
In this life I choose to see beauty, but you want ugliness
In this life I see blue, but you insist on seeing red
In my blessed life, I want white
But in your fuck-up life, you want black
I make love, you make war!
Draggin’ me down
Draggin’ me down
Draggin’ me down
Into your negativity
The Email that triggered the war!
Hi all,
When I sent this email, I wasn’t preparing to debate over mail. My mail was intended to send out my proposition and was not in anyway targeting anyone in anyway. It was unwise channel of communication to debate and argue over an issue. But after a round of heated argument and debate with Christian which ended up with no common understanding, allow me for once and for all, shed my opinion on this issue. After this, you won’t hear from me again.
After Christian’s reply, now I chose to be straight to the point and write as blunt as I can. If my mail hurt anyone or displease you, please be reminded that this email come with NO APOLOGY at all, not ever, not in my lifetime because my conscience is clear.
Christian, first of all, let me remind you that you are NOT the only victim here, so stop acting like the only sole victim. As a matter of fact, I was the victim too...I ALWAYS came early than the actual time, whether or not going or coming back. I always wait for the latecomers LONGER than you do.
So if anyone deserve to go mad and complain like a cry baby, it should be me. Not you. Let me be frank here, you are nothing but a nuisance. You are nothing but negative, you have an attitude problem. You don’t seek to understand people and be peace with people. U need a shrink. U know what...the whole waiting issue is not about respect or the latecomers, I think it is all about you. It is always about you. I am gonna be honest and mentioning name here.
True, nobody like waiting but everyone is tolerating without such a big fuss. True, Omar may be inconsiderate and irresponsible, always late-without a message- BUT in my trainee life, never never any trainee or forbes or chris the van driver himself, or any other passengers or Thomas make a fuss and big issue over waiting. The most we do is Thomas will tell Omar. Sometime he was unhappy over waiting BUT never ever he demanded the van to leave without knowing the other end.
Why?? Because we are friend. And you, your technical laws and rules, have to be this and have to be that stuff is cruel and heartless and no human soul. Take yesterday for instance- the difference between you and me was YOU ASKED THE VAN TO LEAVE WITHOUT WANTING TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH JOHAN AND OMAR- U DEMANDED THE VAN TO LEAVE BECAUSE THEY WERE LATE. YOU DID NOTHING BUT CRYING FOR LEAVING WHILE ME I ONLY ASK THE DRIVER TO LEAVE AFTER WALKED TO OMAR’S DESK AND JOHAN DESK, TO BE SURE THAT THEY ARE NOT COMING.
U think technically you are right, that the van is leaving at 5 sharp and those who come late say more than 15 minute, should be abandoned. Well, I say this to you, technically, there is no technicality. No one have rules that the van leaves at five. It was unwritten law or common understanding. So, DO NOT use this common understanding to impose you self-selfish rules onto others. You don’t know nothing about the van arrangement- so-for God sake, before you start barking again, go and do your homework!!!
And for the matter of clarification, the van is NOT there to serve ONLY us. It is for everybody and all the employees. The trainee end work at 5pm and if there is any employee coming at 5 or 6, YOU have to wait. And that include Omar who is always late. You wanna mess up with him>??? You want him to go and propose to management to wait until 6 or whatever time his is finish?? You think he cant do that?? Do you know who got us the van in the first place?? Again, do your homework…He can do that, and when he does and the van decided to leave at 6, I am gonna launch war at you….mark my words. So remember, the van does not serve only trainee and does not leave at 5. It leave when he is suppose to leave. It is all according to the van driver’s schedule. You and me have no right to determine when it suppose to leave…
Like I say above, this is not really bout the van issue, it is all bout your freakin attitude. U r negative. We are your friends and sometime we want to help you but u are just one egoistic maniac who never want to listen. If I alone think you are that, then I may be wrong. But if you really wanna examine yourself- just ask everyone around you. Ask Omar, ask Christine, ask Johan, ask me….Not enough?? Ask all the trainees, ask Anita, ask Martin, ask Andreas, ask C1 people….not enough?? Ask Chris the van driver, ask the HR department, Ask the thermo guys, ask wasim and the IT department, ask Purohit…just ask every inhabitants you ever came contact with and see what kind of feedback you will get…you don’t know man….but I tell you what, you are merely a joke, a big jokes.
I speak the truth here and the truth hurt. It is up to you to take it from here, positively or negatively. Bernard is the biggest A*shole I meet in my life and yet I have a respect for that man. As for you, honestly, I lost that little respect for you I used to have after I accidentally eavesdrop on your conversation with Andreas last night. Don’t worry, I won’t be a B*tch and I won’t tell a soul. That’s your and Andreas problem.
Respect?? You wanna talk about respect with me?? You are not the right person to talk with me. But since you raise the subject, have you ever respect people?? Have you ever respect about people needs? NEVER…All you think before respect is your vulnerable and fragile health, what is annoying to you-what is irritating to you, which directly and indirectly robbing away pleasure from everyone. How dare you to request Chris the van guy to shut the his window just because the mud and the air irritated you?? How dare you to direct and urge him to drive your way when the traffic was heavy??? How dare you to smash his new car’s door just to throw your tantrum?? How dare you to request the sound/volume in the van to be soften?? Time and again I said, you do not own the van. And that makes you the selfish person…If anyone were to decide the rules of the van, it is the van driver. That’s respect.
Talking about respect…Have you ever respect Chris the van guy?? Ask him for evaluation? Van services may be a service provided by small time company to Forbes but in the vicinity of the van, you respect the driver. This is my value, this is where I came from, this is what my upbringing principal taught me. But in Germany if they don’t teach you this, then I am sad. I hope it is only you but not all Germans. The nearest analogy I can give you is if I were to go to toilet to pee and the janitor is playing radio or chatting something so loud, I will not demand him to soften the radio just because the noise hazardous may be damaging to my health…and I will not ask him to lower down his voice neither do I am gonna ask him to clean the toilet space for me just to make me feel safe and my health protected. The toilet is him and I respect that. But in your case, you will ask him to stop and if he refuse, you will cry to the boss of the boss, like a boy crying out to mama…This is the case for the van with you.
This is what I think about you, as an honest friend. I am not humiliating you but merely stating all of your weaknesses, which made you politically incorrect, and generally dislike by others. If you are smart, you analyze my words and opinion. Take the truth and reckon it and improve it and those I said is untruth then burn it. It is free will.
Do not try to shoot me back or attempt to reply to me. This is my speech to you and I DON’T WANT ANY REPLY. If you do reply. I WONT READ. This is not a debate, this is a one way mail. You can agree with me and disagree with me until the cow come home, that is your problem. I don’t care and I couldn’t care less. I am only playing devil’s advocate. I sincerely hope you see truth and the hidden meaning of this email. And I hope you take it from me as a friend even though the respect is now gone. You gotto change and earn it back.
Last but not least, I had composed a song sometime ago about you, mainly about your negativity and your nuisance. I had talk with my guitarist back home and we are eager to make it a hit song when I go back since my guitarist and I can feel the energy of the song. The below song is about you and is dedicated to you. Enjoy. (Refer to the song above)
Note: This mail was not written in the heat of the moment. It was calmly written. However, it was written by a man that they said "If you drop a drop of watr onto the glass full of water"
Peter
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