Namaste Motherfucker!!

Namaste Motherfucker,

That’s the greeting among us, the bad and crazy boys. Now is 1318 and I just got back from lunch and 20 minutes of self-meditation in my private room. Never a day I will live without my private room. Sigh..what a snake...

I am now waiting for a meeting with a local sales engineer to discuss a strategy to promote our steam engineering courses. So I have exactly 25 minutes to type all my craps for the past few days which is quite unlikely to happen because I am a person who can’t stopping once I start to rock the keyboard.

I will rewind the activities of past few days. First the pre-farewell party which was plan for 5 of our friends who is going back to their respective home country namely Kaske and Yoske to Japan, Hendreanekka and Jos to Holland and Michal, the sensitive guy, back to poland.

The preparation was great. Lots of foods was self-prepared, mostly by the outgoing trainees. I did play a minor roles in preparing the chicken salad. Jos did a great Indian rice (something like Briyani rice). Michal did a benana milk shake, chicken salads with olives, eggs and sweet corns and the Japanese cooked a miso soup and some stuff that look like pizza but it was a eggs, stuffed with beef.

That afternoon, Michal, Omar the fucking rambo and I went to MG road and brought some important stuff. Since I finished John Grisham’s “The Brethren”, so I ended up with another 2 books which is Dan Brown’s “Da vinci code” and Hitler autobiography, “mein kempf” which means my struggle which part of it was written when he was in prison. I already started about one chapter and so far, the reading was great. Grisham on another side, needless to say, as always, compelling and gripping to the end.

Omar was crazy, he stopped by a gun shop and brought a rifle and went back to shoot pigeons in our roofless balcony. For a while it was tolerated because he didn’t do anything that hurt no one except for the pigeons but after a while he went over the line and starting to go around up and down the apartment to aim and shoot at the poor pigeons. When the neighbour started to look at him suspiciously, some of us was worry that the neighbour might report to police (shooting birds openly is illegal in India). But he ain’t listen to nobody (he’s one stubborn motherfucker, a real pain-in-the-ass).

Things got worse when the ever paranoia Bernard a.k.a Jack Nicholson got completely freak out and starting to think that the police is coming to bust us and if it is true, then all of us might be in deep trouble and may as well forget about the farewell party because it was not the gun (rifle shot gun) that matter, it was the 4 month old marijuana plant in our balcony that matter). So Nicholson keep freaking out and bugging everybody with “the police is coming”, “ I think we should hide the plant” etc. He did brought up his concern of the plant few days before this and he did voice out of his disapproval on keeping the plant in the house and Omar and I keeping the weed in the closet. I was really piss off when his non-stopping freaking out attitude bothered me and for the first time, I shouted at him, straight to his face:

“Shut up, will you??, there isn’t any police coming, stop freaking out on me, what we said was there might be a possibility, rilexs, will you”

I mean when in situation like these, what we don’t need is another freako like Bernard to make matter even worse, what we need is a calm mind to resolve the matter with uninamous decision. So what we did was, we destroyed the plant, fearing that police might come. But anyhow, Deepak, our indian friend went to the neighbour and apologise of Omar ignorance’s in shooting. But we still destroyed the plant anyway. Maybe we did it out of everybody’s sake or maybe out of tolerance. As for me, I was fine but just somewhat sad coz I will not have the opportunity to watch the baby grow, to be male or female. But I can live with that, for everybody’s sake. To cut the story short, rambo managed to shot two pigeons, pluged away the feathers, wash them, stuff them with rice, cook some yogurt and finally fried them. The smell was really great and I was invited to join him for the late lunch. I didn’t want to eat the poor pigeons but since the curiosity in me is killing the cats around me, I ended up eating it and was finger licking good.

It was my first time, so my stomach got upset and from yesterday’s overdose of “shit”, I ended up with headache and stomachache. I took 2 tablet of panadols, drank lots of waters, went to sleep and woke up before the party begin. I swore this is going to be the first and the last time I eat the poor pigeons, not because I felt sick but because of the cruelty act of robbing away the freedom of a bird. You may say what’s the different between eating a chicken or cow and a pigeons? I think there is no difference, God created us and the animals and all all of us are destined to be in His circle of life. Species eating another species to survive another day, follow by reproduction and so on...It is bad enough that we human kill millions of land and water’s living creatures for our daily life therefore to kill another living creature up and free in the sky will made it even worst hence I cannot tolerate this.

At night, all invited guest started to come and the dinner begin. I was as usual, the people’s elected DJ of the occasion. Guns N’ Roses, Beef, Blof, NoFX, Coldplay, Ozzy Osbourne, Ernie Smith, Oasis, AC/DC, Pink Floyd, Nelly, MissyElliot, Eminem etc was played to entertained the guest. The dinner was great and in less than an hour, most of the food especially the Japanese eggs with beef and Poland’s chicken salads was attacked to the core.

For a huge party like this, it was funny that all of the foods which seems a 4/5 portion of the spending was actually only 1/5 of the spending. The rest of the 4/5 of the spending goes to 4 boxes of beers, bottles of hard liquor and soft drink. So the party went on until the ungodly hours of 5am. Towards the end, around 2-3 am, most of us was somewhat high, stone and slightly drunk but yet still very much sober and awake. We were laughing at everything we did. The crazy and “sensitive” boys were fuck up-ed particularly Jos the Nickelback, Wimp william of Holland (nice and cool guy, a non aiesec trainee that earning big euro salary living in India), Kaske the Nippon, Michal the sensitive man and me. They were so obsessed with the way I squat like a “apek cina” (chinese old man). Of course the nippon can do it very well but the whites just simply can’t do it (but they did it anyway). We squated in a circle and laughed at nothing, some dripping beers/alcohol from mouth, some simply imitated the Indians by spitting at the floor. We even crushed some of the stuff like badminton racquet, plates and cups, cutlery, rubbish bins etc. It was a completely crazy mess and scenes.

Farewell party always sentimental. Kaske the nippon was crying non-stop during the gift and speech session. It was sad that he has to go back to Japan, where he has to start his repititive life. That day is soon for me:(

The house were in total mayhem and chaos after the party. The floor seems like after flooded.

By the way, the new arrived trainee, the big boob nice ass dutch girl name is Marealla. She looks like Mel C of Spice girls. (slightly).

We also have new guy who is gonna move in to our apartment tomorrow. He was in the farewell party as well. He is David and he looks like a young prodigy or professor from Harvard school. He is the man. In less then 24 hours since he moved in, he as assumed the work of a plumber, fixer etc. He fixed the toilet (2 weeks spoilt, the water was stuck) in less than hour, he fixed kitchen stuff and lots more. He is from Czech Republic. Next week, a new trainee, Barbina from Poland is coming. Rumours has it that she is also pretty looking. I hope so. When asked about how he fixed the toilet and water stuck, he said he just talked to the water and asked the water “where do you wanna go” and the water show him the way, hence he fixed it.

The dutch guy was crazy too. Wimp william is his name. He wrote me a song that night and here how’s it goes;

“ Nameste Motherfucker!
Blow job is great
Peter is fucking great
And tonight he has a date
With the A30 mate (that suspicious shorty, red-hair gay)”

Alp the turkish guy like I say is always cool. That night we chatted quite a lot and we shared so much interest in our taste in musics. I mean how often can you meet someone who has been to Metallica, Suede, Kula Shaker etc concert?? How often can you meet someone who listen to Ugly kid joe, Faith no more and those old school rock bands? I mean nowdays the kids are so sick that they only know about Linkin Park and HipHop only...How often can you meet someone that can debate and chat with you the evolution of Pink Floyd, AC/DC, Jimi Handrix, Black sabbath? Alp and Jos is one of those. We also share same taste in Jazz musics. He liked my Ernie Smith and he is going to lend me his collection of his Jazz collection when he travel to North India. (which is tomorrow).

Kek, if you read this, I wanna tell you that I miss the times when we talked non-stop about our passion of the evolution of Rock music. You are the Grandfather of rock, so, keep rockin!!!

All in all, the party was great and sentimental too. At the moment of writing this crap, Kaske already left and Michal is leaving Tuesday and Jos in a week or so. With the old batch gone, the new one, one by one is arriving thus everything will change. The tradition is, buy a Indian flag and let them sign or write a words of wisdom on it. Everybody has one including me.

The six-pack training with Rambo has taken place. We do this every other day and trust me it wasn’t easy. It was so fucking intense. So much dicipline required, so much that it remind me of my football training back in high school. I have to reduce my drinking habit (drink only in the weekend), reduce smoking (a 20 sticks for 2-3 days), smoking less shit ( smoke only on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, sometime once a week) which I complyed succesfully.

I also starting to record my daily financial expenditure. I am saving my ass for the GOA trip.

Apart of what has been written here, the rest of stuff are pretty repetitive and routine. I don’t want to blind you or misleading that all wonderful things happen in traineeship. It only happen in the weekend and during travelling or maybe public holidays. Only when you add up all, you will get a wonderful traineeship

The GOA trips has been reschedule to end of December. I am looking forward to meet the girl of my dream. We got our leaves reschedule in less than a minute. So, experiencing new year in a golden sand, beautiful beaches and bitches, beer and weed, lay down just do nothing will be the most looking forward thing to do. And with that I sign off and on behalf of crazy people here, we say: Namaste Mother fucker!!! ( Good day mother fucker!!!)